Co-Parenting

Wasn’t this divorce supposed to make things better for my children?

You’ve already made a difficult decision. You have gone through a very difficult process. Shouldn’t the hard part be behind you?

I have never been under this much stress.

You were unhappy in your relationship, or scared, or in a state of constant anxiety. Under those circumstances, being the best parent you could be was a tremendous challenge.

But at least you knew what to expect.

Now, you’re experiencing post-separation conflict – your finances have changed, your living situation has changed – and you’ve probably lost a few friends in the process.

It feels like your circumstances are spiraling, and every episode of conflict with your ex is wearing you further and further down.

Now, it almost feels like your ex is trying to interfere with your parenting.

You imagined spending quality time with your children, unencumbered by the stress of relationship conflict and trauma.

But increasingly, you find the children are having difficulty adjusting to the different households.

It almost feels like your ex uses the custody schedule to interfere with your life.

You want to be flexible. You try to adapt.

But more and more, you’ve noticed that scheduling changes seem to coincide with your social calendar and professional opportunities.

But what can you do? You want to see your children.

You already feel judged, and afraid to ask for help.

Sometimes, it feels like your ex is just waiting for you to make a mistake.

Highly skilled in impression management – they make everything look so easy.

You deserve support – now, more than ever.

So does your family.

Post-separation conflict very frequently occurs in the context of shared parenting arrangements.

If you suspect that your ex knows exactly what will wear you down, you’re probably correct in your assessment.

After the separation, ex-partners often exploit the same foundations that underpinned the marital conflict.

How does counseling help?

Separation and divorce are usually stressful, but these should be temporary stressors.

The processes themselves don’t fundamentally change most individuals, and your former partner will likely continue behaving as they did in the relationship – trying to capitalize on the same vulnerabilities.

Together, we’ll examine that dynamic and create a plan to help you develop new coping strategies and greater resilience.

You’re almost there.

At some point near the end of the relationship, you knew what was right for you.

You had a vision of what it meant to be happy, and to be the best parent you could be.

Every parent has unique strengths and styles. You’re the expert on how that should look for you.

But you don’t have to take the next steps alone.

Let me help. Reach out to me at (415) 858-9454.

I offer complimentary 20-minute phone consultations.

Together, let’s pave the way for healing, health, and a happier future – for all of you.